For Your Enjoyment #36

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A handful of studies, however, suggest that Barbie does have at least some influence on what girls see as the ideal body … Therein lies Barbie’s problem. As much as Mattel has tried to market her as a feminist, Barbie’s famous figure has always overshadowed her business outfits. At her core, she’s just a body, not a character, a canvas upon which society can project its anxieties about body image. “Barbie has all this baggage,” says Jess Weiner, a branding expert and consultant. “Her status as an empowered woman has been lost.”

- Barbie gets a much-needed body makeover...but is it too little, too late?

The Bundy militiamen are an extreme example of a type that's become common in America. Like the Tea Partiers, they seem to not only believe that they're the only people in history who've ever paid taxes, but that they're the only people who were ever sad about it. What they call tyranny on the part of the federal government just means putting up with the same irritating bills and regulations and other crap that we all put up with, only the rest of us don't whine about it in the front seats of our cars while posing in front of tripods.

- Matt Taibbi takes aim at the Bundy Bunch

The idea that satire from the left can serve as a bulwark against far-right ideas is provably false. #YallQaeda tweets might be some harmless fun, but liberal laughing along deserves no great celebration on its own merits. [This] reaction is an index of profound structural racism, for which comedy is an insufficient critique. If leader Ammon Bundy and company are a joke, then the joke’s also on us: We’re in such a pitiable state of affairs that laughable loons can express themselves politically with guns waving while unarmed people of color are deemed threats and are summarily executed. What’s even more troubling from a progressive perspective is that many of the tweets concerning the holdup in Oregon include low blows at white trash stereotypes – crackers, jerky, inbreeding, beer. In his critique of the French satirical newspaper Charlie Hebdo’s reductive Muhammad caricatures, Tim Parks wrote in The New York Review of Books that “the worst case is when satire reinforces the state of mind it purports to undercut, polarizes prejudices and provokes the very behavior it condemns.” Satire that deploys classism to skewer racists and conservatives is certainly such a worst case. Why not focus on their very real, very frightening beliefs? 

- Al Jazeera counters Taibbi (above) with a the sobering reality behind the Bundy standoff 

Those looking to the Militia Movement as some kind of bulwark against government tyranny ought to look somewhere else, because if you really want to understand what it’s like to have your land rights violated by a tyrannical government, go talk to a member of a Native American tribe — and count your own privileges

- ... Does the Bundy Bunch even know what their beloved Constitution says? (h/t DM)

If you're looking for evidence of anti-Carolina bias in the Super Bowl, you can't do much better than this: grounds crews mistakenly painted BRONCOS in both end zones of Levi's Stadium. Making things easier on Peyton Manning? Giving Cam Newton an even higher hurdle to clear? Or just a case of bizarre miscommunication?

- Woops.

Don't ever be afraid to speak out, the kicker told them. "You hear horror stories on the news of young kids killing themselves after getting bullied at school," McManus said. "To be able to give someone guidance, someone to talk to, is much bigger to me than kicking a winning field goal. There's always going to be another game, so impacting a kid or a family always gives me my most rewarding smile." 

- Brandon McManus, ladies and gentleman. See also: Anti Bully Squad / Text to Report

 

That old New Jersey / it fills my memory of all those places that are gone

- My dad posted this video a bit ago on his blog; it's pretty neat for me to see some of the things that my parents saw growing up! (video above)

Willie was famous in North West N.J. For me he always represented this Norman Rockwell small town Americana ideal. Sitting there with his American flag being the friendly old guy, waving to everyone who drove past. Sometimes he would walk to the local A&P or to the Cranberry Lake Market and Deli (Krausers at that time) and would greet everyone coming in or out, telling them to have a great day. He spent most of everyday, sitting in front of his house on Rt 206 in Byram/Andover waving to every car that passed. Nothing, not rain nor snow nor heat nor wind, kept him in. Every single there he was there to wave, and everyone honked their horns and waved back as they passed. He is a legend in Sussex County, and a symbolic piece of our childhoods. He passed in 2000 from a heart attack, while waving. To this day his chair is still there on the side of 206, and people still leave flowers.

- After sharing the "Old New Jersey" video (above) with DM, he dug up this wonderful little tribute to Willy Sparinger

Is there any home purchase more confusing and fraught with anxiety than buying a mattress? Study after study points to sleep being vitally important to our health and happiness, and it stands to reason that a mattress is a foundational component of a good night’s rest. And yet to choose the right one, shoppers must navigate a Kafkaesque maze... It would help if mattresses were like couches or dining tables and came in easily distinguishable styles, shapes and colors. But as Brett Swygman, a vice president for sales and development at Simmons, admitted, the products his company and its competitors sell have a baffling visual uniformity. People walk into a store, Mr. Swygman said, “and see a sea of white rectangles.”

- This article pretty much sums up my recent hell of trying to buy a new mattress. 

"If it gets a little boring, if I see people starting to sort of, maybe thinking about leaving, I can sort of tell the audience, I just say, ‘We will build the wall!’ and they go nuts."

- Donald Trump knows he's talking out of his ass

“My question is, what are you going to replace it with?” Valde asked. “Sir, I promise you, I will answer your question. I’m laying out first of all the problems,” Cruz said. He went on to say that the “most pragmatic, the most prudent” thing to do is repeal the law and start over. When that is done, he said that competition in the marketplace should be expanded, people should be able to buy health insurance across state lines and that everyone wants people to have insurance coverage. “Your brother-in-law couldn’t afford it,” Cruz said. “Right. But he could afford it, he finally got it under Obama,” Valde told Cruz. Cruz repeated Valde’s story, that by the time Valde’s brother-in-law went to a doctor, he was already dying. “He would have gotten it earlier, if he could have afforded it earlier, but because of government regulations, he couldn’t,” Cruz said. Valde, a Democrat who said he will caucus for Hillary Clinton, said after the exchange that Cruz hadn’t answered his question. 

- What exactly IS Ted Cruz's plan for health care "reform", anyways? 

The rover typically collects sand and examines particles on Mars - and once a year it stops to sing 'Happy Birthday' to itself - but the car-sized rover has also dedicated time to snapping pictures. And many of them have been of itself.

- I've said it before, but Curiosity's selfies are the best - and how great is it that it sings "Happy Birthday" to itself ever year?!

Upon waking up, [kayaker Ben Orkin] casually checked his email one last time and received the last note he ever expected to receive. Another team had, quite literally, just broken the record. “The email said, ‘Hey, good luck out there. Our time is around 35 hours. Just thought you should know,’” Orkin said. “I was on my way to the put-in. I was like, ‘Oh, man, I can’t believe I wasn’t the first person to break the Emerald Mile record!’”

- The Emerald Mile's 33-year-old speed record for the Grand Canyon has been broken twice in the last few days

How is it possible that National [airport], which sits on the banks of the Potomac practically in the shadow of the Washington Monument, had about half the amount of snow as the other two [airports, Dulles and BWI]? We all know Washington is famous for fudging numbers and subjective math, but even in a town where climate change is a flash point, both sides of the aisle could agree: This sounds fishy. So what went awry? Turns out, the culprit was reportedly the measuring device. As in, it got lost in the snow.

- Just how much snow was dumped on the DC area during last week's Snowzilla? Maybe we'll never know.

The former Deputy Director of the National Security Agency, John C. Inglis, even described the squirrel threat as one of the greatest dangers facing mankind, according to the squirrel-tracking website Cyber Squirrel 1. “I don’t think paralysis [of the electrical grid] is more likely by cyberattack than by natural disaster. And frankly the number-one threat experienced to date by the U.S. electrical grid is squirrels.”

- Cyber Squirrel 1 tells me that the squirrel threat is real

Now that dogs are getting acupuncture, there's a space open for chickens to move up from incubators to actual trainable pets. Thanks to Chicken Camp PDX, a four day class in April, your chicken will cross the road because you told it to. 

- Hurry and sign up for Chicken Camp PDX to reserve your (and your chicken's) spot ASAP!

The Doctrine of Christ

On November 5, 2015 the policy change to LDS Handbook 1 regarding homosexual members became known to the public. Since then, in the US, 34 LDS LGBT young people between the ages of 14 and 20 have committed suicide. The numbers are being tallied by Wendy and Thomas Montgomery, leaders in the Mama Dragons and Dragon Dads support groups for LDS LGBT families. That’s 1 suicide every 60 hours, or every 2 ½ days. That number does not include a count of suicide attempts, nor of suicides by any closeted LGBT young people. Twenty-eight of these suicides occurred in Utah, a state that averages 37 youth suicides in a 12 month period. Thirty-four in 84 days is a stunning statistic. It’s horrifying. And gut-wrenching. It is also telling. It tells us we adults are not successfully supporting our LGBT youth. 

Here’s the newsflash: every one of us has culpability for these deaths if we are not actively, openly doing all we can to reduce them. Step one in that quest is to make sure your adult voice is heard by all our youth so that every one of them knows exactly who among us will listen, love, and let them lean on our shoulders. The more voices they hear in their congregations – voices that rise not to preach, but to love and support – the lower the odds become that they will choose death. These kids are a gift from God. Let them hear you say that, clearly and often, without qualification. Save a life, starting today.

We, the members of Christ’s church, are the hands our Heavenly Father reaches with, the voices He uses to calm and reassure, the hearts that beats in time with the suffering child. None of us in the proverbial trenches of Mormonism have the right, power, or influence to change a policy, establish doctrine, or institute any kind of official church-wide outreach of healing toward our LGBT brothers and sisters. But we have the right, power, and influence to cause change within our sphere, to show our desire to include, to love, and to understand. We must be the embodiment of God’s love for these young people.

Some of you probably are shouting in your heads, “But the Bible says acting on homosexuality is a sin!” or “Homosexuality is contrary to the plan of salvation!”

Let me clue you in. The kid that is dead? His parents? Her parents? Each of these kids is the one Christ told us to leave the 99 to find and save. THAT is the doctrine of Christ. To expend your efforts denouncing homosexuality when that one kid is staring in the mirror, thinking he’d be better off dead, places you squarely in the temple with the Pharisees. Stop arguing doctrine and go live the gospel. Stop trumpeting “righteousness” and start ministering to the wounded.

Trust me. These LGBT kids are in your ward and your stake, many gasping for air in the shadows. Love them into your arms in precisely the way you know Christ would. No people are better prepared to do exactly that than are the Mormon people. Pray for guidance. And then go do it. Go love the children. Love them with your full heart and full voice.

Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Matt 25:40

- Read this in its entirety (See also: LDS Handbook 1 policy changes, 2015) 

For Your Enjoyment #35, Race to the White House 2016 Ed.

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It's Western civilization's very own car wreck. Even if you don't want to watch it, you will... The irony is that this was supposed to be the year when the Republicans opened the tent up, made a sincere play for the Hispanic vote, and perhaps softened up a bit on gays and other vermin. But then the lights went on in the race and voters flocked to a guy whose main policy plank was the construction of a giant Game of Thrones-style wall to keep rape-happy ethnics off our lawns. So much for inclusion! … It may not seem funny now, because it's happening to us, but centuries from this moment, people will laugh in wonder. America is ceasing to be a nation, and turning into a giant television show.

- "Go Crazy or Go Home": Matt Taibbi takes a look into the 2016 GOP Clown Car (image above)

If someone did make a movie about the 2016 presidential race, who would play the candidates? …The funniest suggestion I received for the role of [Bobby] Jindal was the empty chair from Clint Eastwood's infamous convention speech.

- Taibbi gathers suggestions for a Hollywood casting call 

In all the hysteria, however, what's often missed are the qualities that brought Trump here. You don't do a fraction of what he's done in life – dominate New York real estate for decades, build the next grand Xanadus for the super-rich on the far shores of Dubai and Istanbul, run the prime-time ratings table for more than 10 years and earn a third (or sixth) fortune at it – without being immensely cunning and deft, a top-of-the-food-chain killer. If you're waiting for Trump to blow himself up in a Hindenburg of gaffes or hate speech, you're in for a long, cold fall and winter. Donald Trump is here for the duration – and gaining strength and traction by the hour.

- Rolling Stone heads on the campaign trail with Donald Trump

There has been a lot of talk this campaign season about how women pols bring superior qualities to the table: collegiality and listening skills. But Sarahcuda shows that we are truly the equals of men, capable of narcissistic explosions, brazen hypocrisy and unapologetic greed. She had barely finished the endorsement Tuesday when she began using it to raise money for SarahPAC, so she can take her show on the road... Palin has done us a favor by proving that a woman can stumble, babble incoherently on stage and spew snide garbage, and it isn’t a blot on the female copybook.

- Maureen Dowd thanks Sarah Palin for saving feminism in her wonderfully snarky Op-Ed in the Times

Let's Take a Quick Chris Christie Interlude, Shall We?

Christie, in the presence of Springsteen – whom he would marry if he were gay and if gay people were allowed to marry in the state he governs – loses himself … “No one is beyond the reach of Bruce!” [Christie] screams over the noise of the crowd, and then screams it again, to make sure I understand: “No one is beyond the reach of Bruce!”  There is something odd about this assertion, beyond the obvious, which is that there are, in fact, people who don’t like Springsteen, who find his singing akin to hog-calling; others find his Tribune of the Downtrodden persona a bit of a pose. But what is strange about this statement is that it is an inversion of a central, dispiriting truth of Christie’s life: Bruce Springsteen is beyond his reach.

- We need to revisit Chris Christie's unrequited love for The Boss

 
 

"We gotta get out but we can't. We're stuck in Governor Chris Christie's Fort Lee, NJ traffic jam."

-  I still can't stop watching Springsteen and Fallon's 2014 ode to Bridgegate (image above)  

At venues large and small, the populist rocker seemed to go out of his way to snub the governor. Still, Mr. Christie never wavered in his devotion. “Just because we disagree doesn’t mean I don’t get him,” Mr. Christie said. Love runs deeper than disagreements. It would take a hurricane to bring the two men together. They embraced at a benefit for Hurricane Sandy victims at Rockefeller Center. For Mr. Christie, it was more than just a hug. He later relayed the experience to President Obama, who had himself played matchmaker, arranging a call between the two men. “I told the president today actually that the hug was great and that when we got home there was a lot of weeping because of the hug,” Mr. Christie recalled after the trip. “And the president said, ‘Why?’ I said, ‘Well, to be honest, I was the one weeping; everyone else was fine.’ ” At a town-hall-style meeting not long after the embrace, Mr. Christie told voters, “We hugged and he told me it’s official: We’re friends.” But it would not last.

- In the post-Bridgegate Springsteen spoof world, the end of Christie's one-sided love affair

In a videotaped interview, when asked to choose between Mr. Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi, also from New Jersey, Mr. Christie and his wife, Mary Pat, both picked Mr. Bon Jovi without hesitation. 

- … Bon Jovi now?  At least the feeling is mutual. 

 

... And we're back to the present

Cruz’s view of himself was on full display in the CNBC debate in Colorado in October. All candidates were asked to show some vulnerability by sharing a few thoughts on their biggest weakness. Cruz answered first with a joke by saying, “I’m too agreeable, easygoing.” But then Cruz got down to business, telling the watching nation about his biggest weakness – “You know, I think my biggest weakness is exactly the opposite. I’m a fighter. I am passionate about what I believe. I’ve been passionate my whole life about the Constitution.” There you have it. His biggest weakness is that he is wonderful. In fact, Cruz has failed in every cause he has championed – and it is never his fault. Failure to defund Planned Parenthood, failure to repeal Obamacare, failure to stop the Iran deal– and the list goes on. Of course, all conservatives want these battles to be fought, even if we lose. But it’s not really the issue or the cause that Cruz is championing. No, he just wants to be the one leading the cause – and wants you to see him doing it. Cruz is a perpetual martyr. 

- Ted Cruz: The Televangelist Candidate?

"His commitment to overcomb any obstacle." 

- A few of the funniest things said about Donald Trump

'It's actually a flannel moth caterpillar, they're really rare, I've seen this type of caterpillar before but never one of this colour. We put the picture of our Twitter and Facebook page and immediately people started comparing it to Donald Trump. We didn't see the resemblance when we first saw the caterpillar but looking at the photo it's certainly similar to his hair … I think if Donald saw it himself, he'd find a reason to come down and check the caterpillar out. It's not the most approachable of caterpillars either - if you touch that thing it would seriously hurt, it has these little hairs that can poke into your skin and release a venom."

- Caterpillar or Trump Toupee? On a related note: TIME Magazine has discovered the secret behind Trump's 'do

"I'm here for all you teachers and teamsters, you farmers and charmers, whether you're a mom or Two Broke Girls or Three Men and a Baby, or a rockin' roller, holy roller, pushing stroller, pro bowler with an abscessed molar..."

- Tina Fey nails Sarah Palin's endorsement of Donald Trump, complete with That Cardigan and a spot-on speech

He would email them at all hours of the night, causing many to avoid meetings at which they believed Cruz would in attendance, lest they be added to his list of correspondents.

- Ted Cruz has been annoying people for decades

Donald Trump's decision to withdraw from Thursday's Fox News Channel debate was treated like a bombshell, a surprise move from a candidate who had patented the mid-week swerve. But it was entirely predictable. 

- Oscar Wilde was right: There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Among the whole sample of Republicans, Trump led Cruz by 11 points, but among those who caucused last time, Cruz led by 2. On the Democratic side, the effect was even more stark: Sanders led Clinton by 8 points among all respondents, but among those who caucused in 2008, Clinton led by 17.

- Just how representative will Monday's Iowa Caucuses be? 

In a battle of extremes between Mr Trump and Mr Sanders, Mr Bloomberg could conceivably peel off enough moderate voters from both parties to build a winning coalition. But in a contest featuring a centrist and a polarising figure like Mr Trump or Ted Cruz, Mr Bloomberg would likely share the reasonable-person vote with Mrs Clinton – to the benefit of the GOP nominee.

- The Economist considers who would vote for Michael Bloomberg should he consider a late entry into the race

So, let's have it. Run, Mike, run. Would it be in the best interests of the country for him to run? Probably not. Would it be in the best interests of the country for him to be president? Oh, hell no. Would it be a heck of a lot of fun? You bet.

- Speaking of Bloomberg: The Week describes what would be at stake in a Trump-Bloomberg rivalry

This election is about changing the parameters of what’s feasible and ending the choke hold of big money on our political system. In other words, it’s about power – whether the very wealthy who now have it will keep it, or whether average Americans will get some as well. I have worked closely with [Clinton] and have nothing but respect for her. In my view, she’s clearly the most qualified candidate for president of the political system we now have. But the political system we now have is profoundly broken. Bernie Sanders is the most qualified candidate to create the political system we should have because he’s leading a political movement for change.

- Robert Reich gets to the heart of the Sanders-Clinton debate (See also: this piece)

"I frankly think that in our system of mainly bought elections, [Bernie Sanders] doesn't have much of a chance. But if he were elected I think he would - of the current candidates -  be the one who would have, from my point of view, the best policies."

- Noam Chomsky doesn't appear to have much faith in a Sanders win...but has he read Reich's response(s)?

With Donald J. Trump and Senator Ted Cruz battling for the Republican nomination, two powerful factions of their party are now clashing over the question: Which man is more dangerous?

- I think we all know the answer to this one

The Year In Review: 2015

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This past year was a crazy whirlwind, to say the least. 2015 will forever to me be remembered as a year of goodbyes and a year of hellos - goodbye to my life as I knew it for ten years in the Bay Area, and hello to an entirely new start in SLC. I owe a huge "Thank you" to my family, to my friends and to D, for providing me with the support and stability I desperately needed last year - it's because of each of you that I found the strength to start this new chapter in my life, and to learn how to appreciate and enjoy every step along the way.  Below is a collection of a few of my favorite memories from the past year - ones that make me cry, ones that make me laugh, and, most of all, ones that make me smile. ♥